In late spring early summer the idea for this song popped into my head. There was a very particular picture I wanted to paint about how fear and grief can make your world splinter and crumble out of nowhere and there's really nothing we can do to stop it. I had a few lines but felt stuck and a bit haunted by this idea. It felt important but at the same time incredibly delicate. Normally, lyrics are the space in songwriting that I feel the most at ease with, but not this time. 

We began our tour with AJJ shortly after, a band we all feel deeply comfortable around. Miles, the drummer of Gladie, suggested I ask for help with the song. Asking for help is a really normally novel concept but honestly never comes natural to me. After a deep and honest conversation with Sean Bonnette from AJJ outside our greenroom in Boston, I thought “fuck it” Im gonna channel my inner Miles and ask Sean for help on the song. He responded enthusiastically and asked me to send him what I had, which at the time was just a simple chord progression, a few lines, but a concept that felt really important to me. Sean sent me some voice memo vocal ideas the next day on tour and we continued to talk about the song. 

When we all got home from the tour, Sean texted me within a few days and was like, “lets facetime this week and work on the song.” I was so relieved, I know myself well enough to know that if he hadn’t reached out I would probably would have just let it go because I hate feeling like I'm putting anyone out or taking up their time. I was nervous as hell before our first phone call because although I can confidently call Sean a friend, he is a songwriter I’ve been listening to since I was young and I deeply admire. Needless to say, the first facetime went incredibly well. We talked and mulled over lyrics, we really hashed out all the ideas and got to the root of what I really wanted to say. After a few hours we had the whole structure of the song written out on little post it notes. We continued to facetime and share ideas back and forth. Then brought Matt into the mix when we wanted to start making proper demos of the songs. We recorded the full song with the band in early August and it was incredibly cathartic to hear what everyone brought to the table. The process of working with Sean really refreshed my approach to songwriting and taught me a valuable lesson in putting myself out there. My biggest take away was that life can come at you fast in both horrible and beautiful ways and ultimately chaos does reign but you can always ask for help.