Born Yesterday.

It takes me more time. I’m a little unsteady. I was born yesterday. I forgot I could be somebody. It takes me more time. I’m a little unsteady. I was born yesterday. I forgot how to breathe already. Now the floodgates are open. The way I feel I could fill the ocean. The way I feel I could fill the ocean. The way I feel I could fill the ocean, on my own. It takes me more time. I’m a little unsteady. I’m running toward higher ground, higher ground before the wave comes to get me. (it washed me out despite my concrete surface) It takes me more time. I’m a little unsteady. I’m running toward higher ground, higher ground before the wave comes to get me. Now the floodgates are open. Now the floodgates are open. The way I feel I could fill the ocean. The way I feel I could fill the ocean. When the wave comes crashing in, it said I’m not a fixed thing. I’m changeable. I’m changeable. It takes me more time. I’m a little unsteady. I was born yesterday. I forgot I could be somebody. Now the floodgates are open.

Mud.

Stuck in mud til I hit another birthday. Pull me out I’m not dying, I’m just thirsty. Read my face you know I’m bad at lying but my moods are skydiving, moods are skydiving.
Late bloomer in the shade, where you headed? Rise early to catch the morning dew. I noticed on clear inspection, my hands are the same shape as you. Late bloomer watch you slow dance alone. Illuminated by the glow of your cell phone. Smiles added to this new collection. Spring air through the windows, a color injection. I noticed on clear inspection, my hands are the same shape as you. No, I'm not trapped inside when it's raining, the fog is thick and I'm not complaining. Read your face and I know you're trying your moods are skydiving, moods are skydiving. Late bloomer in the shade, where you headed? Rise early to catch the morning dew. I noticed on clear inspection, my hands are the same shape as you.

Hit the Ground Running.

If I'm not my body, if I'm not my own friend. If we tell ‘em something they'll only see it through their own lense. The days coming anyway, I’ll let it catch up to me. I wanna love you in the way that you still feel free. I hit the ground running, I hit the ground. Try on my adult shoes and relinquish control. I sink, sink, sink into the feeling till I uproot the end goal. Can't tell if you're depressed or just content they all appear as the same thing. Hear the outside world calling. Let that fucker ring ring ring. And you, hit the ground running, you hit the ground.
I wanna love you in the way that you still feel free. I hit the ground running.

Nothing.

She said I learn everything the hard way. One more fumble and I hit another doorway. Fruit gets ripe before it gets rotten. I keep seeking advice that I've already gotten. I keep seeking advice that I must have forgotten. What would it feel like to want nothing? I felt the heat on your concrete street form a distorted silhouette. I wanted to call you but I haven't been ready yet. I wanted to call you but I haven't been ready yet. What would it feel like to want nothing? Do you feel it in your knees? Does it settle in your gut? I know I missed the mark. Is the door forever shut? I know I missed the mark. Is the door forever shut?

Soda.

Push around my thoughts on my breakfast plate. Pause to savor taste and evaluate. From my vantage point we’re doing fine. You say words I wish to hold and bold and underline. You make me feel normal. Make me feel like I belong. For a glimpse I'm free from suffering. Today there's nothing wrong. Store brand soda, still a luxury to me. I like the way we live in tandem and the world we wish to see. Sweet and cheap, we thrive on less. You don't feel you’re owed a thing. You enjoy the practice. You enjoy the practice. You make me feel normal. Make me feel like I belong.

Heaven, Someday.

Garden gloves and citronella embrace the art of digging deep. I see you so unsatisfied sowing what you hope to reep. I don't want you to feel seen, I want you to be known. Take the grace you give away, give away for yourself when you're alone. When you're running on fumes, absorbing bad news, I’ll be here with the lights on. It felt, it felt, it felt, impossible to break, you don't know what you're in until you're out. I didn't get it then but I get it now. Happy is a concept that felt too decadent to try. Placing every bet against you and you never questioned why. Cruelty is a theater that plays all night long. Can we learn to tune it out when they turn it on? When you're running on fumes, absorbing bad news, I’ll be here with the lights on.

Fixer.

I left you standing in the yard, I didn't know it was the wrong thing to do. With raised voices and hushed minds whatever it takes to get you through the night before it's gone to a life where you belong. Woke up with that cloud in my head but I think I'll go to a friend's house instead. Get high and we won't talk but that's okay because everyone deals with their shit in their own way. What do I have to do to get close to me and you? The birds in the wall with voices too tall at night when I wake up and I get scared that you might someday disappear you might someday disappear we might someday disappear you might someday disappear but in that dream I'm already with you so it never was an issue to be gone.

Smoking

Embarrassed to admit that I miss smoking. Breathing in solitude with strangers. “Hand of doom” dances in the background, empty cups on the passenger seat. I got that lump in the throat feeling, the sky’s turning black. What would you give, what would you give to the world that gives you nothing back? Standing on the precipice of the way things are and the parts I miss experience the moment that I'm in. I can feel it shifting in my skin. Don't recognize myself in the mirror, I think maybe I never did. Still there's light that leaks in the corners of the childhood joys I hid. Got that lump in the throat feeling, a sign to get on track, what do you give to the world that gives you nothing back. What would you give to the world that gives you nothing back? Standing on the precipice of the way things are and the parts I miss. experience the moment that I'm in. Laughed at by an empty glass, feel the crave then the moments passed. Times up, I'm shifting in my skin. Embarrassed to admit that I miss smoking. Breathing in solitude with strangers.

For a friend.

Every window is a mirror when you're looking for your friend. A simple thought can punch you back in, have to dig out again. You find a simple pleasure in the midst of your grief television rerun a momentary reprieve. I tell you that you’re strong but it just feels like an insult, when nothing gets preserved nothing gets reserved, yeah that’s an insult. I see you standing in the backyard again, staring at the driveway waiting for your friend. But it's okay, cause we walk the same way. Slightly out of bound, slightly overwhelmed by our own pace. It’s okay cause we walk the same way slightly out of bound, slightly overwhelmed by our own pace. Every window is a mirror when you're looking for your friend. A reminder that a loop has a beginning and an end. Bury your head in the messiness of living you hear his voice in your woes, woes of indecision. I see you standing in the backyard again, staring at the driveway waiting for your friend. But it's okay, cause we walk the same way. Slightly out of bound, slightly overwhelmed by our own pace. It’s okay.

Something Fragile

You were burdened by my bullshit too. I was focusing on me, not you. Watched as the ugly in my mirror grew, a hand to slap me awake. I never understood that you could suffer alone but near me too. What a selfish thing to do. To overlook the one you love. Am I something fragile, or something strong? Am I a lukewarm bath that you stayed in too long? Am I something fragile, or something strong? Am I a lukewarm bath that you stayed in too long?